Katie started it.

“We saw her take the concept and develop it right through to completion,” said Kenny Harvey, the Director of Experiential Learning for Growing Teens for Life. He and Tim Main, the Grounds Supervisor, worked right beside Katie as she took her idea for a Butterfly Garden on White’s campus and turn it into reality.

“She worked with Tim and me,” Kenny continued, “and her parents bought some material. Some we donated from 50 East, and some we had donated through Monarch Watch.”

In fact, Monarch Watch, a nonprofit education, conservation, and research program based at the University of Kansas that focuses on the Monarch butterfly, its habitat, and its spectacular fall migration, donated over 200 milkweed plants.

“The impact this project had on Katie was obvious. She was much more self-assured and had more leadership in the project as it progressed,” Kenny said.

Katie, a student at Compass Rose Academy, has since returned home. The impact she has had on campus will continue for many years to come. Kenny Harvey has plans in fact. “We are hoping to use the garden as a community service project for Compass Rose, allowing students and interns help design it as we expand it.”

For Katie, the project helped her earn the Girl Scout Gold Leadership Award.

For Compass Rose and all of White’s, students and staff will be exposed to butterflies, their importance in nature, and why they are endangered, not to mention the simple appreciation of something so very beautiful and so very fragile.

“The garden’s symbolism is profound, especially for our students,” said Mike Haarer, Vice President and Director of Compass Rose Academy. “The Monarch, in particular, undergoes an inspiring transformation, a transformation that reflects the potential of change and growth every young lady here has within her.”

“Yes, Katie started a wonderful thing here.”

We are excited to announce as part of our strategic Growth Model SOAR initiative and ongoing work to infuse our program with Growth Model training, language, and support, we’ve made an agreement with Scott Makin to provide ongoing training, supervision, and consultation to all of our staff. He is a leading expert in this model, so we are blessed to have his expertise!

Scott Makin is the Executive Director of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling at Concordia University Irvine. He is involved in the curriculum design, student and faculty recruiting, faculty training, and marketing. He is also an Assistant Professor of Counseling and a licensed mental health counselor.

Scott met Dr. John Townsend in 1996 and has worked with him in various speaking engagements. In 2010 he began working with John to bring John’s Leadership Coaching Program to Indianapolis in 2011. He has co-facilitated 5 different teams with John. Scott also created the Counselor Training Program with John and co-facilitated this with him in 2012-2013. Scott then led this program for two years.

Please join us in giving a warm welcome to Katherine Kelly. She has worked in both public and private Christian school settings and has a history of serving on an accreditation team for a school working through the accreditation process with the Association of Christian Schools International. Katherine has served in a professional development leadership capacity for a team of teachers in the past and is currently working on her Masters in Curriculum and Instruction. She is highly motivated and has felt led by God to join our team. Katherine has a great heart for the students at Compass Rose.

We are also excited to announce after years of consideration and a focused year of strategic planning with our senior leaders, board members, and an education committee, we have decided to move to a private school model. While our current school has served our students very well, we look forward to the new arrangement which will allow even greater integration of our clinical, residential, and academic services.

We have been working with our partners at MSD of Wabash County to develop a transition plan to a new private school model. This new academic program will continue to utilize an online component as well as new innovative and rigorous academic offerings for our students. These components may include but are not limited to Project-Based Learning, STEAM courses, outdoor education, Service-Based Learning and vocational opportunities for students. Katherine will work to transition our program to a private school model with an official launch date in August of 2019 at the start of the next school year.

By John Townsend, Ph.D.

Unfortunately, when a teen is going through a difficult season, it never happens in a vacuum. The negative behavior, words and attitudes affect everyone in the home. Two things happen: parents don’t know how to communicate to the family about the situation, and also they don’t know how to communicate about life itself. It’s as if the problem takes over the home.

Here are tips to help restore some sanity and love to your family functioning if you’re facing discord in your home.

Communicating about the teen.
Your spouse and other kids need to know what’s really going on and how they can best cope with the situation. Very young siblings might be easily overwhelmed by information that their emotional state can’t handle. But with older kids, more information is better. Here are some things to do:

• Tell them the nature of the teen’s problem, what you know about its origins and its severity. They probably know a great deal already. But frank discussion will expose the elephant under the rug, so they can become less anxious and feel free to process the information.

• Ask them what they think and how they feel about the situation to get their perspective. Often, a sibling will feel overly loyal and not want to narc on the troubled one. But keep in mind that this can take a toll on them: emotionally, socially and maybe even physically. Encourage them to talk about this.

• Assure your other children that you have a plan and are getting the right sort of help for the troubled teen and anyone else who needs it. They need to know they have parents that they can be secure with. If you don’t have a plan, promise the kids that you are getting one ASAP, and follow through with it.

• Give them suggestions on how to handle their own relationship with the troubled teen. Talk to a psychologist about this. Approaches can range from being loving but firm, to having a listening ear, to avoiding the person, to calling the police. A licensed therapist is the right source for this information.

• Don’t make your other kids the shrinks. Sometimes, a compassionate and empathetic child will also be a good listener, and many parents will turn to him or her as their “rock,” as I’ve heard parents say. That’s a mistake. That kid needs a parent who is their rock, not the other way around. Support the kid, and get your support from other good and stable grown-ups.

Communicating about life.
The “family train” must keep rolling. People have school to attend, homework to get done, jobs to go to and functions to attend. Be intentional about having weekly “family meeting” times (I suggest Sunday evening before the week starts) where you connect, discuss schedules, and have fun. If the troubled teen is disruptive, he or she should not be there. You don’t want the siblings having memories of life stopping for the stable kids, while all the attention went to the troubled kid. This includes making sure social events, games, family dinners and other fun events go on. Put extra energy into asking the other kids about their lives and being totally engaged in what they say and do. Don’t be preoccupied and anxious with them. Save those discussions for your friends and other supportive relationships.

A family can be strong and resilient enough to support the recovery of a troubled teen while continuing to nurture and develop the other children. Best to your parenting!

One of the great things about the teen years is that it is the life season in which adolescents begin to “own,” or take responsibility for, their lives and direction. It is not without stress, however, for both teens and families as it involves lots of questioning, challenging, acting out and defying in order for them to settle on whom they are going to be.

Here are some qualities a teen will need to own in order to be healthy and happy.

Values

Basically, we experience in life what we value in life. Our values are those principles that determine our friends, our behavior and the choices we make. Here are some important values that parents can introduce to their teens for consideration:

• I value my family. I may not agree with them on lots of things, but they are people I love and want to live with in peace.
• I value good friends. I want friends who are good people inside. My friends will not be perfect, but their insides are healthy and not toxic.
• I value honesty. I don’t want to hear lies and deception from others and I don’t want to speak them either.
• I value getting the most of these years. I will never be a teen again. I don’t want to miss all the opportunities available to me by making choices that steer me wrong.
• I value being healthy. I want to be spiritually, personally, physically and academically healthy. I want to feel good about how my life is going.

We act on what we value. Values are the core of everything.

Needs

Teens, like everyone, have needs. They need acceptance and validation. They need fun and stimulation. They need opportunity. They need someone to talk to when life sucks. They need structure and good feedback.

Part of growing up is learning to know what you need, to ask for those needs to be met, and to appreciate when they are met. This is a big move from childhood, when parents seem to “read the minds” of children and anticipate their needs. During the teen years, the adolescent needs to know “my needs are my burden,” because that is what life is about.

Conversely, teens need to learn that they are not responsible to meet all their friends’ needs. They can support a friend who is struggling, but they can’t end the struggle. Parents need to help them see the difference between being “responsible for” their friends and being “responsible to” them.

Feelings

The teen years are a time of intense and new feelings. Nevertheless, one of the developmental tasks of this period is for teens to learn that though they can’t control their feelings, they can own them. Feelings can be strong, but we don’t have to act out impulsively on them. When an adolescent is angry, she needs to learn to do two things: (1) Identify the cause (“I’m really mad, what triggered me?”) and (2) consider relationships (“Instead of slamming doors, I will be direct and honest, in respectful ways, to my family and friends about what is bugging me”).

Again, teens can’t own their friends’ feelings. Help them to not get swallowed up in rescuing friends who are sad, anxious or shamed. There is a big difference between supporting someone and letting their distressful feelings govern your life.

Choices

It’s empowering for teens to own their choices. Whether they say, “I’m choosing to study and I will reap the benefits of that” or “I’m choosing to goof off and I understand that there will be consequences,” they are on their way to being successful. Owning their successful choices and their bad choices will help them tailor their decisions toward a better path in life.

Be the parent who “owns” the responsibility to talk to your adolescent about what to own and what not to. Your teen will thank you.

Best to you,

John Townsend, Ph.D.

One of the great things about the teen years is that it is the life season in which adolescents begin to “own,” or take responsibility for, their lives and direction. It is not without stress, however, for both teens and families as it involves lots of questioning, challenging, acting out and defying in order for them to settle on whom they are going to be.

Here are some qualities a teen will need to own in order to be healthy and happy.

Values

Basically, we experience in life what we value in life. Our values are those principles that determine our friends, our behavior and the choices we make. Here are some important values that parents can introduce to their teens for consideration:

• I value my family. I may not agree with them on lots of things, but they are people I love and want to live with in peace.
• I value good friends. I want friends who are good people inside. My friends will not be perfect, but their insides are healthy and not toxic.
• I value honesty. I don’t want to hear lies and deception from others and I don’t want to speak them either.
• I value getting the most of these years. I will never be a teen again. I don’t want to miss all the opportunities available to me by making choices that steer me wrong.
• I value being healthy. I want to be spiritually, personally, physically and academically healthy. I want to feel good about how my life is going.

We act on what we value. Values are the core of everything.

Needs

Teens, like everyone, have needs. They need acceptance and validation. They need fun and stimulation. They need opportunity. They need someone to talk to when life sucks. They need structure and good feedback.

Part of growing up is learning to know what you need, to ask for those needs to be met, and to appreciate when they are met. This is a big move from childhood, when parents seem to “read the minds” of children and anticipate their needs. During the teen years, the adolescent needs to know “my needs are my burden,” because that is what life is about.

Conversely, teens need to learn that they are not responsible to meet all their friends’ needs. They can support a friend who is struggling, but they can’t end the struggle. Parents need to help them see the difference between being “responsible for” their friends and being “responsible to” them.

Feelings

The teen years are a time of intense and new feelings. Nevertheless, one of the developmental tasks of this period is for teens to learn that though they can’t control their feelings, they can own them. Feelings can be strong, but we don’t have to act out impulsively on them. When an adolescent is angry, she needs to learn to do two things: (1) Identify the cause (“I’m really mad, what triggered me?”) and (2) consider relationships (“Instead of slamming doors, I will be direct and honest, in respectful ways, to my family and friends about what is bugging me”).

Again, teens can’t own their friends’ feelings. Help them to not get swallowed up in rescuing friends who are sad, anxious or shamed. There is a big difference between supporting someone and letting their distressful feelings govern your life.

Choices

It’s empowering for teens to own their choices. Whether they say, “I’m choosing to study and I will reap the benefits of that” or “I’m choosing to goof off and I understand that there will be consequences,” they are on their way to being successful. Owning their successful choices and their bad choices will help them tailor their decisions toward a better path in life.

Be the parent who “owns” the responsibility to talk to your adolescent about what to own and what not to. Your teen will thank you.

Best to you,

John Townsend, Ph.D.

One of the great things about the teen years is that it is the life season in which adolescents begin to “own,” or take responsibility for, their lives and direction. It is not without stress, however, for both teens and families as it involves lots of questioning, challenging, acting out and defying in order for them to settle on whom they are going to be.

Here are some qualities a teen will need to own in order to be healthy and happy.

Values

Basically, we experience in life what we value in life. Our values are those principles that determine our friends, our behavior and the choices we make. Here are some important values that parents can introduce to their teens for consideration:

• I value my family. I may not agree with them on lots of things, but they are people I love and want to live with in peace.
• I value good friends. I want friends who are good people inside. My friends will not be perfect, but their insides are healthy and not toxic.
• I value honesty. I don’t want to hear lies and deception from others and I don’t want to speak them either.
• I value getting the most of these years. I will never be a teen again. I don’t want to miss all the opportunities available to me by making choices that steer me wrong.
• I value being healthy. I want to be spiritually, personally, physically and academically healthy. I want to feel good about how my life is going.

We act on what we value. Values are the core of everything.

Needs

Teens, like everyone, have needs. They need acceptance and validation. They need fun and stimulation. They need opportunity. They need someone to talk to when life sucks. They need structure and good feedback.

Part of growing up is learning to know what you need, to ask for those needs to be met, and to appreciate when they are met. This is a big move from childhood, when parents seem to “read the minds” of children and anticipate their needs. During the teen years, the adolescent needs to know “my needs are my burden,” because that is what life is about.

Conversely, teens need to learn that they are not responsible to meet all their friends’ needs. They can support a friend who is struggling, but they can’t end the struggle. Parents need to help them see the difference between being “responsible for” their friends and being “responsible to” them.

Feelings

The teen years are a time of intense and new feelings. Nevertheless, one of the developmental tasks of this period is for teens to learn that though they can’t control their feelings, they can own them. Feelings can be strong, but we don’t have to act out impulsively on them. When an adolescent is angry, she needs to learn to do two things: (1) Identify the cause (“I’m really mad, what triggered me?”) and (2) consider relationships (“Instead of slamming doors, I will be direct and honest, in respectful ways, to my family and friends about what is bugging me”).

Again, teens can’t own their friends’ feelings. Help them to not get swallowed up in rescuing friends who are sad, anxious or shamed. There is a big difference between supporting someone and letting their distressful feelings govern your life.

Choices

It’s empowering for teens to own their choices. Whether they say, “I’m choosing to study and I will reap the benefits of that” or “I’m choosing to goof off and I understand that there will be consequences,” they are on their way to being successful. Owning their successful choices and their bad choices will help them tailor their decisions toward a better path in life.

Be the parent who “owns” the responsibility to talk to your adolescent about what to own and what not to. Your teen will thank you.

Best to you,

John Townsend, Ph.D.